This is the very first story I ever wrote, from 1996 (5th Grade). I’ve only made a couple of light corrections to formatting and grammar. You might be able to tell that I wrote most of it on my way to a Thanksgiving dinner.
Introduction …Well, not really…
Hi! My name is Big ‘Ol Fat Turkey. I am a Turk. I walk around on my drumsticks. I like to wave my chicken wings as people pass me by. But, I’m not a chicken, remember? I’m a big ‘ol fat turkey. I am Big ‘Ol Fat Turkey to be exact.
Since I’m a big ‘ol fat turkey, I hate Thanksgiving. Hee he he he haaa…ahem. If you believed what I just said, you should get mental help. I’m definitely NOT A TURKEY and I’m certainly not big and fat.
Okay, here’s the story; I’m being held prisoner in Windsor Castle in London, England. I’m writing this story in hopes that you, my lucky reader, will have a chance to save me! Again, if you believed that you should get mental help.
*Knock, Knock, Knock*
Ahh, I guess someone is at the door. Let’s see who it is.
Hello Turkey, Double-O Turkey! Geez, it’s only my neighbor, a secret turkey agent.
*Sigh* By now, if you believed anything I wrote, you should seriously consider getting a new brain.
I’M NOT A TURKEY
I’M NOT A PRISONER
And finally, my neighbor is NOT a secret agent named Double-O Turkey.
My neighbor is really just a normal person, and I, as you should all know, am just an ordinary author named Ben.
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Does anybody have some Munchos? What? It’s hungrifying writing and reading and never actually writing a story!
Whoa, I just found a sparkly thing. It’s purple and blue.
~ ~ ~
On to the story!
Chapter 1: Strange Things
Tony Malone is a boy in the 4th grade, just like you or me. He is nine years old and he likes to play hockey and football. Tony has a very strong throwing arm, so there is really no explanation for what I am going to tell you.
One day, Tony was playing catch with a football and his brother when strange things started to happen… Tony and his brother had been playing for a while, and they were about to call it quits. Tony threw the ball one last time, and he threw it so hard he felt like his arm was going to come off with it. It was amazing! The ball stopped in midair, then flew back at Tony so fast it knocked him out.
His older brother rushed over, hit him in the chest 10 times, dropped two buckets of water on him, then he smacked Tony across the face a couple times. Tony slowly opened his eyes and said, “OKAY YOU CAN STOP THAT NOW!” Then the football fell out of the air and knocked Tony out again. Tony’s brother was confused, but didn’t have any time to think. Tony was ca Ha-ha, fooled you. I didn’t mean to write that; it was a typo.
Chapter 2: The Hospital
Tony was rushed into the house by his parents and put into his bed. He didn’t become conscious until the next day. When he woke up, he wandered down the hallway to the kitchen. As he was walking into the kitchen, he suddenly reversed course and flew backwards! He was knocked out again. Mr. and Mrs. Malone rushed him to the hospital.
As it turned out, Tony cracked his skull, and broke his right arm and his left leg. He had landed on a hardwood floor, so his parents bought a few rugs to make it softer in case it ever happened again. While Tony was in the hospital, there were two mix-ups. He had his tonsils and his appendix taken out while he was there. Five days later, Tony finally made it home.
Here’s what you probably didn’t know; it was a ghost knocking Tony around, but it never meant to hurt him! I guess you’re wondering? I’ll explain in chapter three.
Chapter 3: Bad Choice, Malones!
If you really want to know, I’ll tell you. Tony made his mother call a medium because he just knew it was a ghost causing the entire ruckus. The medium found out what you and Tony already knew; that there was a ghost in the house. But he also found out why.
The ghost was really very friendly. It saw Tony and his brother playing catch, so at last it finally caught the ball and threw it back at Tony because it wanted to play too. Then, when Tony awoke, the ghost thought he was okay, and threw the football at him again.
In the kitchen, the ghost never meant to knock Tony out. It was just so happy Tony was okay that it rushed over to hug him and tackled him instead.
In case you are wondering, the ghost never caused the hospital mix-ups. Those were just an unfortunate coincidence. Mrs. Malone thought this was all too much. She fainted on the spot.
Mrs. Malone was so upset that the whole family packed up and left that day. They bought a pleasant little house on a farm in Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, once they got settled, they found that there was much more to this house than meets the eye too; however, this house had a much meaner ghost…
About the Author
Ben is a great writer. He helps me with my writing sometimes. I’m Brandon Murphy. Ben is my best friend. He has a very good sense of humor in writing.
Brandon Murphy (1997)
Ben is very funny. He is a great writer and a great friend.
Mark LaCava (1997)